Marijke is a master of disguise, and in the past has successfully managed to convince people she is Scottish! Unfortunately, this is the only accent she can mimic. She is also shit at the alphabet and rhyming, but great at impersonating a sad t-rex.
Steven is just a guy who’s trying to make his way in this crazy, crazy world. He’s into long walks on the beach, eating out, pork?, traversing promenades, eating in, sauntering along the coast and aggressive post-sex brawling.
If you've ever wondered what it's like to swim with space tuna off the coast of Jupiter's moons, then you'll understand.
Five times runner up in the Pimlico beatboxing championships, this beautiful stranger is on a mission to your mind, muthafucka.
Seriously? I have to write a fucking bio for the twatting website? Can't you do it? I don't care what it says. Just write anything.
Barry is a total bell-end and we all hate him.
In 1998 Charles was part of a crack commando unit who were sentenced to prison by a military court for a crime they probably didn't commit. He now survives as a soldier of fortune in the Leith underground. So, if you have a problem, and if you can find him then perhaps you could hire him to help you with that problem. Unless you are a fool. He pities fools. Oh, and no air travel either.
Hannah Rachel Cruickshank is a human woman who is capable of expressing humour. Her natural habitat is Instagram. She lives on a diet of dog pics, the social media output of the Kardashian-Jenner-Wests, and cum.
Nobody knows for sure what makes Jules. There's definitely some sugar and spice but she's also addicted to other condiments, so for god's sake hide your turmeric.
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